Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Feeling a Bit of Anxiety

Well, I have had a decent day today; got plenty of sleep, no stress, saw some friends; a regular nice day. The only problem was, I stopped at my Mom's place today to say hi. Right now I have not come out to her yet, and I am not quite ready for that step. But, when I said hi, we hugged like normal, but I forgot I was wearing my training bra. She did not say anything, but I know she felt it, and she began saying things that just weirded me out some without actually saying anything bad.
First she made the comment about my earrings ( she has known I have had those for a while now) and how I changed to small hoops instead of studs. Second she made the comment about my shirt ( a wolf t-shirt she got me from Florida) and if it was fitting me okay. The third thing was, as I was leaving she made the comment that my hair looks real nice and that I look healthy and began to really pour on the affection.
I am not sure what to think of this right now, as tomorrow she has a phone interview for a job in Florida, and if she gets it, she will be leaving. So, I don't know if how she was acting was because she might be leaving state for a new job in which we will be thousands of miles apart, or if it was she is starting to suspect what is going on with my transitioning, or if it is even some of both. Just a little background, My Mom and I have always been really close, even after my Dad and her got divorced. In fact, we only live about 3 blocks away from each other at the moment.
On another note, I am going to a meeting tomorrow at the Gender Identity Center of Colorado, and this will be my first visit. I know they will treat me right, but it is another step in the right direction for me; just away from my safe zone (or home). This is also getting to me as I am a bit nervous on that. I will get the information I need for continuing my journey, but on a more grander scale.

1 comment: