Last Friday was a pretty bad day for me at work. I planned on getting done with my normal duties and going to see one of my bosses about some issues dealing with my direct supervisor, when I found I was being ambushed by him and his boss instead. We ended up sitting there talking about how I was transitioning and how I was supposed to conform to the dress code for the company. What they told me next devastated me. They proceeded to tell me that until I had the surgery, I would have to be at work as my former self. In doing so, I would have to conform to the standard dress code for a man, which meant that one: I would have to get my hair cut (after I had been told I could let it grow long 5 months previous), because it was unfair that I be allowed to grow my hair long when nobody else could, and two: I would not be able to get a female uniform even though the uniform I have now does not fit correctly anymore. To give an example, I were a size 38 waist men's pants even though I have a 32 inch waist, but my legs will not fit in a 32 inch waist because my thighs are to big; I wonder why? Everything I had been striving to get done while at work; making sure people understood about me transitioning and for my own personal trials and tribulations came to an abrupt halt. I think what made the whole situation worse was the fact that while my bosses were telling me all of this they kept complimenting me on how I look and how well I was doing (but all was for not from what they told me I had too do). Needless to say, I was crying during this meeting. So, according to them, I had until the next Thursday to get my hair cut or else.
One of my friends who I adore greatly was there for me immediately. We were ready to go and get our hair cut together with some of our other friends to film and take pictures, so that we could post them on Facebook and on Youtube. We wanted to make a statement. Something did not sit right with me about what my bosses had said and how everything was being handled. I ended up going to my support group the next day and while most of them were up in arms immediately (which made me feel good), I still did not feel right about the situation. So, after talking with them for a while I came to the conclusion that I would start off professional about the situation. I, with the help of some friends and my mom, I ended up printing off over 100 pages of information about what it means to transition and what is to be allowed by state and federal law.
On Monday, I saw one of my bosses again and gave him everything I had printed. I then asked to have a second meeting, except that I would have the vice president of the board of directors from my support group come with me to answer any questions that any one would have. I knew that she would be able to properly answer any questions better than I could. After he had heard everything I had to say, he was very nice and agreed to everything and was reasonably happy for me after finding out that I had the right to ask for all the accommodations I was asking for, namely, to conform to the female standard dress code, not the male. The information I gave was given to corporate immediately in response. What would happen next, I almost cried over.
Two days later, I received a phone call from the boss I gave the information too. He told me that because of the information provided and some more research from corporate, I was to be given all accommodations immediately, without trouble. This meant, no more cutting of my hair, a new uniform, general use of the female facilities, everything! It was like a huge amount of weight had been lifted from my shoulders, enough that they actually hurt. So, now I am waiting for my uniform to come in, but I don't have to worry any more about work and it makes me happy.
